Mens 5 vs Merton M2

G’day all. Get ready to clear the next two hours of your life - because it’s Spike’s match report time!

And wasn’t it just another hugely strong showing underscored by disappointment because of this poxy “scoreline” thing they insist is important.

I think a neutral watching that match would have pegged us as the side higher in the table, might have guessed we were the team playing at home, and that Merton would have been absolutely over the moon to get something out of that game at all.

To be sure, it was very tight all game, and the sides were very well matched. There was some good stuff played all over the park by both teams, and it was a great advert for hockey at this level. But when you look at time of possession, chances created, which goalie had to make worldies to keep their side in it, I would put it to the court, m’lud, that Epsom were the better side.

And once again a critical umpiring call (actually two in this game) was the difference between us getting what we deserved and ending up with less than we deserved. I don’t like to rag on umpires because they are the lifeblood of this sport, especially at this level, and their job can be incredibly difficult. But sometimes, when those calls are SO important, you need to be able to rely on them to get them right, or have faith in them that where there’s doubt they will make a call that won’t actually change the game. Their defender kicking it off the line gives us a p-flick, and I know they had Gargantua in goal, but 2-0 there wins us that game. Then a few minutes later they get a short corner more mysterious than the Bermuda Triangle, or the contents of Maj’s hockey bag, and that gives them 1-1. It’s very frustrating. Did they really deserve the draw, as the bloke serving us pizzas claimed? _Really_ really?

Anyway, here’s how we got on individually:

Spike: a busier 70 mins for the Epsom ~sweeper~ keeper, but it was all ground game and kicking, rather than saving shots. Got in a couple of important slide tackles, and really enjoyed absolutely cleaning that bloke out right at the end, but a clean sheet was totally on the cards.

Matt B: just another massive game from the lad. When Bish is playing the oppo doesn’t have a left wing, and so everything is funnelled elsewhere for us to be able to deal with. And apart from doing that probably three quarters of our attacks also originate via our hero RB. Consequently the Right Reverend Bishop amassed a suitably large number of MoM votes, and continues to be a real MVP candidate for the season.

Rob: with one or two _fully discussed_ exceptions, I thought Rob had a tidy game, and did a great job nullifying their young lad up top. The Pringster didn’t leave his side and man-marked him out of the game. Passing around the back and covering breakaways was 90% there, and with a bit more practice I know this guy is going to be a devastating short corner weapon.

Dave F: looked pretty comfortable in the free/sweeper role, and even had a few little excursions over the half way line. I thought we dealt better with counter attacks this week. A couple got through but in general we contained them in attack, and Dave got in a couple of really impressive, calm, quality touches and tackles in our D.

Maj: nice supporting role for Maj this week, as we controlled possession so their RW was forced to play deeper or to come inside. Maj’s control continues to be his forté, and aside from one or two miscues, his passing inside was sensible and effective. He did get incredibly exercised about the colour of the umpires’ attire, and could probably do with going on a course about “when to think something and when to say it out loud” but since he brings the jelly babies I’ll let him off.

James: things were so tight in midfield James couldn’t really exploit space the way he normally does, but instead he had to do it the hard way, winning balls and competing for everything. He was one of the guys putting pressure on their 16s, and there was a spell in the second half where they just couldn’t get out. Looked creative and industrious throughout, I thought.

Jack A: really impressive game again from Jack. His fitness is absolutely back, he’s got the skills and the vision, and I thought he stood out as one of the best players on the pitch. Jack’s link-up play is so important to us I might have to give him immunity from being subbed. Was rightly in MoM contention.

Tom N: classic battling performance from Tom “The Nickelator” Nickels. How many times did Merton lose possession in the middle third because a stick appeared from impossibly far away? A crucial part of the artery-clogging defence which forced the oppo to go wider or go backwards, and as the game went on Tom began to eliminate the threat of their older guy in the middle. And the good news is Carlos’s knee braces are for sale!

Dave D: ooh, how good is it to have this fella back? I love how Duncs wants the ball all the time, he’s always looking to make something happen with it, and he’s always trying to play positive, possession-based hockey. Obviously DD is the key man in midfield linking defence and attack, and was almost single-handedly responsible for us dominating the time of possession stats. Busy all game box to box, and another MoM contender.

Lawrence: another ‘100% for effort’ performance up top, and the usual all-round game we’ve come to expect. “Number 37” got massive complements from the oppo post-match for his energy, fitness and resolve, but then we all know Lozza is an absolute beast, and I thought he was hugely unlucky not to get on the scoresheet. A supremely determined display - and absolutely what we needed up front in this game.

Jack N: positioning continues to be Big Jackie’s strong point, and the little triangles he was playing in the top third of the pitch were quietly devastating. Quick balls and first-time touches seem to be the order of the day, and he was unbelievably unlucky not to get a trademark back-stick goal, thanks to Merton’s annoying GB level goalkeeper.

Tom B: more decent, sensible link-up play from the Boydmeister. Posed a threat on the edge of the D but also put real pressure on their backs as we continued to pin them down, especially second half. Gets in great positions - now it’s time to get on the scoresheet TB!

Kris: absolutely top notch performance again from Heathy. Some of those long passes in from wide left need to be filmed and put on a hockey porn site, they’re that fit. Another candidate for the “not to be substituted” crew, Kris deservedly got some MoM nods for an all round quality game, but especially going forward. Merton didn’t really have answer as they got sliced in two time and time again.

Alex: managed to beat Godzilla the GB goalie at the near post, which not many players will do this season. But aside from that, Alex was the player who caused Merton most problems, I would say. With pace, directness, tenacity, and not a little skill, he was our danger man on the break, and the reason our breaks were so effective, especially in partnership with Lawrence. Thus, Scotty is deservedly this week’s *MoM*. Congratulations.

I think we can take a huge amount of heart from this performance. I know history records it as a draw, and it was a very evenly contested match let’s not kid ourselves - we had to work hard for everything, and it ebbed and flowed as we expected - but this was away against a team who had lost only once all season (2-1 v OCs, conceding a last minute winner), and I think we did enough to win the game outright.

But we have to accept that, for the second time this year we’ve gone to Morden, experienced some _interesting_ umpiring, and come away with an unsatisfactory draw. Visibility wasn’t great either - it didn’t help that a combination of the weather and a lack of floodlights made it feel a bit like playing a game of hockey under a duvet. But I can’t fault the performance. Maybe score more goals? Get more corners? That’s about all there is to improve on.

Anyway, we must now turn our attentions to next week. It looks like team availability might already be a bit down, so those of you who are free please do sign up as soon as you can. We’re away v NPL, so not too far to travel. We absolutely need to get back to winning ways, so let’s try and get a strong side out.

Also do remember to sign up for the Christmas mixed tournament on the 8th, in any capacity. It would be good to get a side out and turn it into a bit of a pre-Chrimbo social. Should be good fun.

Anyway, well done on a really impressive performance. I’ll leave it there and I’ll see you at training and/or Teddington next week.

Spike