Ladies 2s vs Neston 2

Donkey of the match - Emma Johnson

The following match report is completely true. Apart from the parts I made up. 

We took a trip to the Wirral on the 14th October to see some nice houses and were strong armed into hockey. 

The weather needs its own match report; rain, sun, cold, wind, rainbows, flying unicorns. We had it all. Plus a bit of hail on the way home. Lovely! 

We started off playing their hockey not our own. But following some side line encouragement from the side line baby sitters/coach we stepped into our second gear after 15 minutes, showing them how you really play this stick and ball thingWho knows what we did before this. Jenn Haynes was ‘not mentally there’ Emma was thinking of her air fryer and Izzy robins was still wondering where that second sock was. Mabel, Lucy and Rachel hughes opened the hockey textbook professor snape style at page 45 to show neston how triangles of play are meant to be done. 1-2-1-2-1… I lost count of the passes we strung together. But it looked good. 

Famke broke the deadlock just before half time with a worldie from the baseline and we left the pitch on a high for an inspirational half time team talk peppered with phrases such as ‘sexy hockey’. 

The second half took around 4.5 hours to play with the game stopping for the umpires to try and stamp some authority. There was a couple of green cards (both teams, got to make it fair right) (insert eye roll), a chat with both coaches and several players whilst the rest of us stood freezing waiting. The two umpires even had a couple of conversations with each other ‘what you doing this weekend Steve….’ Clearly their own social interaction for the week. We’re here for that! 

Back to the reason we all had drove an hour on the motorway in October when we would rather have been on the sofa with a hot vimto; hockey. We opened up that textbook once again with some excellent transfers, running off the ball, pressing and a further three goals; when we did play it was thoroughly enjoyable. Although that wasn’t much. 

Our goals were standard; reverse shot that flew through the air into the top right netting, deflection from back post and a scrappy style goal in front of the keeper. Solid. (Team shoulder shrug like it’s nothing) 

On the odd occasion they entered our D we handled their threats calmly and with maturity; their few shots expertly dealt with by Elliot who remained on their toes the entire game! 

we saw the game out just as the sun came out ‘on the righteous and all…’ 

We went and had some more than average pizza, definitely not jealous of certain parents getting a chippy (hint, hint next time mr Facer) with a 4-0 win under the belt. 

See you at our place, neston. Next time we will put the proper team out.