Weekend Preview: Pub Golf Preview

Dearest CUHC, 

Congrats everyone on making it through week 5 (mostly) unscathed. According to the Nomads, Beds & Rovers emails last week the absence of social meant an absence of chat. By my calculations this is the calm before the storm of the imminent Holy Trinity of socials: Pub Golf, Rubix cube swap and Christmas Dinner - all within 2 weeks! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though, making it through all of these and to the end of Christmas dinner is no mean feat - just ask any old Nomad.

First up is a fan favourite in the CUHC social calendar, the atmosphere for this one is quite thrilling. Channel your inner Dobby and get socks at the ready to turn week 5 blues into week 6 birdies (© - Rovers email). 

By virtue of the fact I’ve written the same amount of essays this term as DoD poems, writing this is a bit of a struggle. Thanks must go to Julia for being the sole reason for my narrow DoD avoidance this week - this outnumbering essays would be seriously concerning.

Enjoy.  

Hole 1: Spoons 

Picture the scene: families are having a Sunday roast, old blokes who like to eat paper having a pint, Laird has just ordered a large pizza for his “date” and CUHC descend on spoons in the greatest 3 legged pub crawl Cambridge has ever seen. 

The Regal golf course has seen many of the greats over the years (the last 2 months):

Dust(sinb)in Johnson - aka all the MBlues in Exeter this week (too soon?) 

Scory Mcllroy - would’ve been Radar, but drag flicking every time is getting boring. This goes to 1 half of the newly appointed tour secs - age is just a number right? 

Scottie Sch(o)e-ffler - rumour has it Julia is still looking for her shoe after Saturday mash  

Tommy Fleet(ing)wood - I heard anon sheep had a fleeting visit to Lucy Cav - evidenced by CCTV footage of her near a fence.

Viktor Hovland-of-confusion - anon CUHC couples’ relationship status (we are all just as confused)

Hole 2: Emma Bar

Everyone’s getting back into the swing of it, a couple of pints in & things are going well. Muscle memory kicks in in efforts to finish under par, although let’s hope CUWHC can restrain themselves from getting their kit off in Emma a second time (or more for certain individuals). 

As the home turf of battered I expect the challenges will have something to do with citrus fruits, I’m sure welcome drinks are still fresh in the fresh’s minds. 

Top Tip: the pints are really cheap here, make this the round you pay for. Also latch onto an Emma resident to get into the side gate on Park Parade (preferably a semi-reliable one)

Hole 3: Eagle 

At this point in the course the 3 legged running is at its peak - a beautiful combination of practice and a few pints. It’s all downhill from here. Quite literally if trolleys have anything to do with it. 

What better location for hole 3 than the Eagle - famously a site of discovery, so far this year CUHC (freshers) have discovered many things:

• Gravity - Mara learnt that what goes up must come down last Wednesday revs. She stacked it face-first off Wolvers’ shoulders at Van of Death.  
• Box - the freshers are big fans of box, even if they are yet to beat it. So much so that they’ve started doing it without us. Guys where’s the invite ???
• Sharking - although not a new discovery an increase in sightings have been reported this week. Pub Golf has history in this department, can we expect a new record? 

Hole 4: Q bar 

Potentially a rouge choice of bar but again, cheap drinks. If you can get in via the back gate near Catz or the Fischer Gate that is ideallll. Plenty of CUHC silly fresh and silly second years reside here (well not quite they’ve been turfed out to the depths of Owlstone).  

One to watch (out for): Femi

Hold on to your pockets & watch out for cameras, you may make it into Femi’s ‘Day in the Life’. 

Hole 5: Catz bar (HAPPY HOUR) 

This hole is technical, it's all about the timing (get there no later than 9pm!!!!!). And get your orders in swiftly. The eclectic underground neon dungeon (in a good way) that is Catz bar does get rammed at happy hour. Expecting to see many Fire Engines - not with blues and twos, that comes later.

Mode of transport: 3-legged race down Kings Parade:

I want to see Ossian x Kani vs Jenna Long legs x Dyson, bets welcome. 

Hole 6: Cellars

I vaguely remember the presence of a body cam and mic for mic’ed up pub golf last year, although the footage has suspiciously never seen the light of day (looking at you Blewis). Probably a good thing it didn’t capture Ossian’s with his entire bottle of gin - again suspiciously never to be seen again… 

After stumbling out of cellars it's time to make a b-line for the other side of town towards JBar - classic CUHC territory which we sadly didn’t make it to for Halloween. Well worth the visit, don’t miss out. 

Hole 7/8: J Bar / Maypole 

Sere-ne-naw was coined this time last year. It seems CUWHC ex-Repton medics have a penchant for addies after a night out. 

Mode of transport: Ambulance (or emergency service of your choice) 

Final hole: Hawks 

All I have to say for this one is try not to fall down the stairs - probably best to un-tie yourselves at this point. Get yourselves a ginger toma and on your way to Lola’s - the night is still young! 

Movember 

We’re currently sitting at a total of £431 halfway through the month, still a way to go to get near last year’s impressive £1,586 - so keep sharing and donating!

By current standings the men’s side are in danger of many eyebrow slits, frosted tips & mullets. Only another £219 and the Nomads will do a ‘Tequila 10K’! (we would do this for £100 & Jenna has said she’ll pre for it). 

If you haven’t already join the Movember page using this link: https://uk.movember.com/team/2406299?mc=1&utm_medium=share&utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=copy-clipboard 

Fixtures 

Home

WBlues v St Albans - 12:30 

Blundies v Cam City 5s - 14:00

Rovers v Cam South 4s - 15:30

Away

Nomads v CoP 2s - 11:30 

Wandies v Harleston Magpies 2s - 12:30 

Beds v Newmarket 1s - 13:00

MBlues v CoP 2s - 14:30 

Squandies v Ely City 2s - 14:30 

(hope I’ve got these right this week & won’t cause any further panic to secretaries worrying about match teas - sorry!)

 Good luck tomorrow!! (especially those travelling in Jojo’s SUV…)

As always CUHC love, 

Garrod & Blewis 

IFLPG, EHTMB, NMATP, PGITBNOAT, GDBO 

P.S. a visor is probably one of the best investments you can make in your CUHC career (apart from a boonie) see images from last year below. Visor open to interpretation.